Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
