You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
