if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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