do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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