There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
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I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
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Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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