Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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