genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
