tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
