i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
