I didn't shave. On purpose
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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