Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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