Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
i believe in u and ur pee
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
