lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I bet he comes in French.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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