Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
