yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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