UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
