Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize