yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Randomize
