No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
