I want you more than these girls want KFC
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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