My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Say something about gay babies.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
