After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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