the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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