the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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