this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Ketchup is God's man juice
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drank out of a bidet.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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