remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
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