I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
