A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
