I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Found the puke drawer
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
