the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
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