All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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