we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
