Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
