if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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