He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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