omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
