Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
