Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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