some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
