I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I just gargled with NyQuil
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize