So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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