the new term for farting is butt boxing.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
