She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
