Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
