we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
