If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize