i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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