I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
