Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(585): View more from New York

Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?

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(585): Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58? http://tfl.nu/d4gh

Replies (13) Good night (1054) Bad night (4047)
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(313): View more from Michigan

i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home

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(313): i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home http://tfl.nu/61ja

Replies (63) Good night (960) Bad night (5375)
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(206): View more from Washington

well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas

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(206): well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas http://tfl.nu/i2gq

Replies (13) Good night (1565) Bad night (3410)
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(270): View more from Kentucky

I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?

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(270): I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea? http://tfl.nu/h6xa

Replies (43) Good night (9297) Bad night (2360)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.

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(701): She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex. http://tfl.nu/crgk

Replies (63) Good night (21831) Bad night (1314)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs

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(860): letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs http://tfl.nu/yswk

Replies (18) Good night (10646) Bad night (1240)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.

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(732): four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day. http://tfl.nu/q3s7

Replies (20) Good night (4092) Bad night (1659)
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(636): View more from Missouri

Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.

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(636): Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time. http://tfl.nu/mfto

Replies (6) Good night (2358) Bad night (1301)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"

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(+61): I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer" http://tfl.nu/7qtl

Replies (11) Good night (2733) Bad night (549)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.

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(804): I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for. http://tfl.nu/5fqm

Replies (2) Good night (1542) Bad night (544)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.

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(215): the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead. http://tfl.nu/na4w

Replies (6) Good night (3332) Bad night (653)
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(516): View more from New York

Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.

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(516): Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/i5qz

Replies (17) Good night (1184) Bad night (483)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter

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(505): Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter http://tfl.nu/c0ww

Replies (5) Good night (1001) Bad night (307)
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(815): View more from Illinois

Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.

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(815): Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again. http://tfl.nu/i74s

Replies (3) Good night (206) Bad night (524)
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(512): View more from Texas

So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.

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(512): So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically. http://tfl.nu/0h6g

Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (188)

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