How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night