Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.

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(618): I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out. http://tfl.nu/syqz

Replies (47) Good night (779) Bad night (5316)
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(410): View more from Maryland

I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I cherish every text you send me

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(410): I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland (412): I cherish every text you send me http://tfl.nu/05mc

Replies (49) Good night (6295) Bad night (837)
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(660): View more from Missouri

Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart

(281): View more from Texas

What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?

(660): View more from Missouri

Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni

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(660): Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart (281): What theme did he decide on for the bathroom? (660): Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni http://tfl.nu/hovp

Replies (19) Good night (5304) Bad night (1008)
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(949): View more from California

while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving

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(949): while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving http://tfl.nu/8zv1

Replies (20) Good night (9087) Bad night (770)
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(323): View more from California

may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.

(818): View more from California

First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.

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(323): may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in. (818): First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats. http://tfl.nu/s5xw

Replies (41) Good night (7896) Bad night (843)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

What happened?....

(304): View more from West Virginia

He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....

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(304): What happened?.... (304): He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm.... http://tfl.nu/j714

Replies (10) Good night (1795) Bad night (5343)
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(757): View more from Virginia

I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.

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(757): I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper. http://tfl.nu/o740

Replies (4) Good night (3103) Bad night (876)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?

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(505): Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke? http://tfl.nu/u3od

Replies (3) Good night (955) Bad night (1118)
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(352): View more from Florida

She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.

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(352): She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later. http://tfl.nu/9nzg

Replies (1) Good night (1367) Bad night (816)
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(360): View more from Washington

Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

(360): View more from Washington

It was me.

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(360): Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who. (360): It was me. http://tfl.nu/kgk9

Replies (3) Good night (2817) Bad night (618)
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(209): View more from California

My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.

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(209): My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it. http://tfl.nu/53yn

Replies (2) Good night (417) Bad night (726)
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(775): View more from Nevada

I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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(775): I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related http://tfl.nu/atsx

Replies (2) Good night (774) Bad night (495)
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(254): View more from Texas

Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.

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(254): Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS. http://tfl.nu/4s6u

Replies (0) Good night (624) Bad night (336)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time

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(647): Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time http://tfl.nu/3x1t

Replies (1) Good night (374) Bad night (146)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"

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(306): I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?" http://tfl.nu/60qj

Replies (2) Good night (334) Bad night (157)

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