went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
