Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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  (313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd
  Replies (40) Good night (14356) Bad night (1661)
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  (863): View more from Florida

  I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..

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  (863): I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex.. http://tfl.nu/ynb7
  Replies (121) Good night (4444) Bad night (63045)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.

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  (416): Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat. http://tfl.nu/ucz3
  Replies (47) Good night (890) Bad night (6875)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach

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  (586): When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach http://tfl.nu/tgf3
  Replies (24) Good night (3750) Bad night (2283)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain

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  (302): I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain http://tfl.nu/18xp
  Replies (22) Good night (1309) Bad night (4258)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier

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  (612): you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier http://tfl.nu/qh8d
  Replies (10) Good night (4763) Bad night (1232)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.

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  (303): There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home. http://tfl.nu/5hbi
  Replies (8) Good night (2742) Bad night (1415)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work

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  (208): I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work http://tfl.nu/ffxc
  Replies (20) Good night (1876) Bad night (3228)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME

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  (603): I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME http://tfl.nu/slem
  Replies (5) Good night (4270) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.

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  (818): I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha. http://tfl.nu/8wtq
  Replies (13) Good night (3476) Bad night (874)
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  (+22): View more from

  Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.

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  (+22): Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes. http://tfl.nu/gtep
  Replies (8) Good night (597) Bad night (1765)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer

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  (623): Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer http://tfl.nu/er6w
  Replies (4) Good night (718) Bad night (1267)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."

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  (785): Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk." http://tfl.nu/6oxw
  Replies (2) Good night (720) Bad night (595)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.

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  (252): I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction. http://tfl.nu/uetm
  Replies (2) Good night (1103) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (1020) Bad night (411)

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