if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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