pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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