is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
