Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize