Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
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