Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
