tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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