id be glad to
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My penis needs a shock collar
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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