so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
