I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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